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I have discovered through persistent inquiry and various teachings that I am not essentially my thoughts or essentially this body, but the aliveness that underlies it all. But I am still trying to get rid of a separate self!

I feel there is something more. I still swear at the children and they piss me off. I am still trying to get somewhere and feel that if I could get rid of the separate self I would arrive at a more peaceful place. I then listen to stuff like Rupert Spira who says that the witnessing stage is just the halfway house. There is one stage further where you are no longer the witness, you are everything just happening. The kids piss me off and, yes, I still feel like a me that is being pissed off.

Just tell me where to send it and click the button below. What I experience is that what is happening is aliveness. In my own experience I think it was useful to investigate the nature of what I am so as to see that I am not defined by anything that is happening. So I am not defined by thoughts, for example. To me, saying that I am not thoughts is silly because here thoughts are!

If they are not me, then suddenly, guess what? But what is that? It can only be inferred. But why deny the reality of what is happening? Why am I saying that I am not thoughts? All that does is create some illusion of being something separate from what is happening. We can imagine anything we want. We can imagine it and create a convincing argument. But where is the proof in reality?

All we have proof of is this, what is obvious. Why are we looking for something else? Why is this not enough?

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Something is apparently happening. But we dismiss it as though we knew it and understood it and were done with it. They are no good. They are not me. I am the real me — underlying aliveness. I challenge you to take a real look right now at thoughts. See if you can actually know what a thought is and then know for sure that it is not you.

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Find the separation between you and it. As for Rupert Spira. I never read or listened to Rupert. So I have no idea what he says. But that whole business about going beyond witnessing to becoming what is happening — whether that is what Rupert said or not — that sounds like a load of nonsense to me. Who is going to go beyond witnessing? Think about this for a moment. Nobody can go beyond witnessing. But nobody is witnessing nor going beyond witnessing. You already are what is happening.

What I am telling you is all of that is what is happening. Whatever is happening is what is happening. When this imaginary stage of going beyond witnessing is achieved, guess what? Stuff will be happening. Just as it always has.

Nothing changes because there never was anyone to witness or go beyond witnessing. This is aliveness already. This is already aliveness. So being pissed off happens.

The nature of being pissed off is, at least to some degree, innately unpleasant. By definition, whatever is happening is what is. But when I speak of what is or just this I mean exactly what I say.

I am not talking about anything special or esoteric. I mean literally this right now, whatever this is. The problem is we are often dissatisfied with the simplicity and non-specialness of what is.

We have been conditioned to seek after something elite and exclusive. We want to get into some special club that we imagine will protect us from what is happening.

As for the second point. I can think of separation. I can imagine it. But in actual experience I find no such thing. I can conceptually imagine such things. It seems to me if we all were to be honest about what we actually are experiencing — without all the conditioned, imaginary, conceptual story overlays being taken to be true — things would be a lot simpler in a lot of ways.

I am not suggesting that we should strive to do that or that it would be better. To me I find that it is nicer for me to recognize that nobody needs to be forgiven. And to me that is forgiveness. I forgive because holding a grudge is painful.

Tell me what email address to send it to. You often say that you cannot locate a self. Do you value my work? Do you appreciate my blog posts? Support my work through Patreon. Click Here to Leave a Comment Below.

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